I was thinking last night I couldn't sleep until around two or three, so I stayed up listening to music and thinking. I was  thinking about love and my ex...Maybe it was just the song I was listening to... Saosin's cover of Time After Time and Mookies Last Christmas and I thought: when your in love, it poses as a shield from bad things. It doesn't prevent bad things from happening, it just...throws them off for a while for you, then as soon as its gone, the shields gone there's nothing left to protect you from...feeling sad, or facing your problems.
I also thought about how I always figured there'd be a time where I faced my ex and  just sat down and talked, instead of having his current girlfriend talking to me just to suck information about me and feed it to him. I'm not sure why he'd get his girlfriend out of all people to do that...but I guess she's all he has left. I figured that would be my closure, talking about it. But he's moved an hour away, and I'm moving 12 hours away on the 29th of August, so I suppose sometimes you have to settle for no closure and just move on with your life anyway.
I tried to remember some good times we had too, but my mind was only flooded with the bad ones...So I wondered: does hurt out weigh genuine happiness? I mean you always hear about light winning over dark, but maybe that's just a myth, because the good memories seem to be fading and the bad ones remain as if it all happened last week.
I don't know why I was thinking about it so much last night, I honestly seldom think of him now, time changes things. I bet I think of him less then he thinks about me now. But I had an epiphany, if he was ever willing, I would go back to being his friend, I would welcome him with open arms. I wouldn't fall for him again, and I know that because he's changed too much and is no longer the person I loved, maybe if we changed together it would have been different, or maybe we would have grown a part and broke up anyway. We broke up too soon to tell anyway, we still cared about each other. When I talked to Allison about her ex and if she would ever fall fer that person again she said 'if it happened once it could happen again', I agree to a degree, but not in this case. In this case I know I wouldn't. If he was willing, I would welcome him back in my life...as friends again...with open arms.

Hola,
So this is my first post on this thinggy. I have a xanga, but this seems...more useful in getting some answered questions to be perfectly honest.
So drop a comment when ever you feel like it, and I'll be updating soon times.